Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Review

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me?

They did it again. Captain Jack Sparrow is back for his fifth appearance in the swashbuckling ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ franchise. He is joined this time by the son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan (Brenton Thwaites) and a female astronomer (Kaya Scodelario) looking for the trident of Poseidon. The movies have gotten progressively worse with every entry, but does this one break that curse? Yes and no. But mostly no. 

To start with the good in this movie, I think that Javier Bardem makes a good villain. That shouldn’t be too surprising based on his credentials as some of the best villains of all time, Anton Chigurh and Silva. He doesn’t really have much of a story arc, but he has an interesting enough backstory. Another thing that is a redeeming quality in this movie is the music. When you hear that Pirates soundtrack, you really can’t help but sing along. I mean that literally too. I could hear the guy sitting behind me, as well as myself, singing along to the “He’s a Pirate” song. 

Now for the bad. I know that this is going to be controversial, but Johnny Depp was so irritating in this movie. Not only did he have some really bad joke delivery, but his portrayal of Jack Sparrow had really just become a paycheck for him. It really felt like he wasn’t trying anymore which is so sad. He was nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal in the first film, and now it just seems like he doesn’t care anymore. Another huge problem is how long this movie is. It should be at least half an hour shorter. There is a scene that involves a safe that feels like it goes on forever and it has very little to do with the plot. It’s mostly for humor, but it just keeps dragging on for a good 10 minutes. 

I want to end this by saying that I’m a huge Pirates fan. My family watches the first 2 movies religiously a couple of times a year, and I don’t mind the third or fourth ones, but this movie just really lost that magic. There were elements of nostalgia that I enjoyed, but for the most part I was just bored which is sad to say for a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie. 

3.5/10

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